Starting Somewhere (Sample Work)

Sample Work:

Prologue

Every day is like a curse.  I wake up with my heart and soul heavy with choices I made so long ago it shouldn’t even matter now.  However, everything hurts.  Hurts so much that I’m about to break if I don’t do something.  Cigarettes used to take the edge off, now they just feel like rot in my mouth as I try to remember why they felt so good.  Looking at the old package of Marlboros I just toss them in frustration, so much frustration the small garbage can wobbles around a couple times before returning to its still state.  Looking at the garbage like it’s my enemy, I wait until it halts to look away once more to the city below me.


Nothing changes, same old sins and annoyance.  I almost forget what it was like to be carefree and laughing.  What does my laugh even sound like?  Anything that resembles one now is just a mockery of whatever it used to be. Even strange things that used to thrill me now seem so contrary and annoying.  Books, flowers, or even a simple flirtation by a decent looking guy are all things that I find to be unnecessary.  Just a year ago I was that college senior that thought the world was my oyster, now I realize I’m the dirt under people’s shoes.  And there’s nothing I can do about it.             

Sighing a deep breath, the window I lean my head on clouds as the rain poured.   How long it had been raining would be anyone’s guess, but it seemed to feel the same as my soul.  The heavy rain was almost deafening against the window, but I didn’t have the heart to move.  Perhaps the rain would know how to calm me once more.  Embrace me somehow because it knows how I feel.  


Touching the window where my breath left the condensation, I find myself making a small heart out of an old whim.  Maybe the old me is still here somewhere, but suddenly it’s wiped clean and my palm cold and wet with the aftermath.  As if to erase the hope before it manifested too deep.  

However, something had changed in that moment. Moving my head ever so slowly it’s almost like I woke up once more.  Suddenly, I reach for a napkin that was crumpled up and anything to write with.  A pen nearby would do.  And like that, just like that the clouds parted, and the rain let up as my pen touched the irreversibly bent paper.  It was time for my return to society.

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